I know by posting about our recent loss, I opened the door for insensitivity and really shouldn't be surprised. But somehow I am and I figure it's time to set things straight. I don't want anyone that has tried to make me feel better to feel like they did something wrong, this is more for those people who fail to recognize my loss... or use it to their advantage. First and foremost, if you are a parent and your daughter/son have experienced the loss of a baby (regardless of it being born or not) it is NOT okay to totally ignore that it happened. All I ask for is a simple "how are you doing?" You don't have to ask me about it, you don't have to try to make me feel better, just show that you care about me. Second, if you are thinking that you may be experiencing a loss, CALL A DOCTOR. Or google it... Don't ask ME what it was like... I don't want to share the gory details of my loss with you. There are so many resources online that give you wonderful information about when you should start to be concerned... And usually you shouldn't be concerned until you have these symptoms AFTER getting a positive pregnancy test. Just sayin'.
I'm a door mat. I let people do this to me ... I pretend that everything is alright and that I would love nothing more than to share my not so wonderful experience with someone who thinks maybe they might be experiencing the same thing. It is not fun. It is not something I want to tell you all about a few weeks after it happened. It's much easier to type out the details than to hear yourself say things. I still cry when I have to tell people that we "lost the baby." Hearing it come out of my mouth hurts way more than thinking about it.
Unfortunately, no one understands how it feels unless they experience it first hand. I wish that upon no one. It is not something I want you to know first hand. But hopefully this helps give you a little understanding... maybe...
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