Saturday, August 1, 2009

At the Clinic

"James, a 36-year-old engineer, appeared at the clinic in an extremely debilitated condition. He had purple-brown lesions on his skin and a persistent cough. A physical examination revealed swollen lymph nodes. Laboratory tests revealed a low lymphocyte count. Information taken during the personal history revealed that James is a homosexual. The skin lesions proved to be evidence of Kaposi's sarcoma. What is James's problem?"

If you thought his problem was that he's an engineer you would be wrong. He is suffering from acquired immune deficiency syndrome, or AIDS. Poor guy, he's going to die. But, I guess we all have to go someday.

"About six months after an automobile accident in which her neck was severely lacerated, a young woman comes to the clinic for a routine checkup. Visual examination shows a slight swelling just inferior to her larynx; her skin is dry and her face is puffy. When questioned, the woman reports that she fatigues easily, has been gaining weight, and her hair is falling out. What do you think is wrong?"

A woman was driving a car, she got in an accident. Menstruation is causing her other "symptoms." She's tired because of it, and she has been eating lots of chocolate which is causing her weight gain. Plus, she is going crazy from the hormones and has been pulling out her hair. The dry skin is from lack of lotion, and her face is puffy from excessive crying.
The real issue, unfortunately, is hypothyroidism from the trauma which is causing her to exhibit an autoimmune reaction to formerly "hidden antigens" in the thyroid gland colloid.

"Use of birth control pills decreases the acidity of the vaginal tract. Why might this increase the incidence of vaginal infection (vaginitis)?"

Well, because she's on the pill, Jane feels that she can have sex with whomever she wants as often as she wants. Thus, the probability of getting an infection increases.
The real answer: The acidity of the vaginal tract inhibits bacterial growth. Hence, anything that decreases vaginal acidity provides an opportunity for bacterial proliferation and vaginal inflammation.

"Patty Hourihan is a strict environmentalist and a new mother. Although she is very much against using disposable diapers, she is frustrated by the fact that her infant breaks out in a diaper rash when she uses cloth diapers. Considering that new cloth diapers do not cause the rash, but washed ones do, what do you think the problem is?"

Patty is a hippie and thinks that her child should run wild naked through the house. She is more concerned about the earth than her child's rear end. Patty should switch to disposable diapers immediately.
The real issue is that her child gets contact dermatitis likely caused by a reaction to the chemicals in the detergent used to launder the diapers. Time to switch to the organic stuff I suppose... Way to go Patty.

"A young man is rushed to the emergency room after fainting. HIs blood pressure is alarmingly low, and his companion reports the man collapsed shortly after being stung by a wasp. What has caused his hypotension? What treatment will be given immediately?"

The "young man" was smoking weed. He was high and thought it would be cool to play with a wasp... He passed out from eating too many "special" brownies.
Actually, anaphylactic shock caused his hypotension. They should inject him with epinephrine STAT

2 comments:

Greg said...

That was funny and it gave the correct answers loved it!!!

Unknown said...

Cracked me up the whole time but thanks so much!!!!!!!